There have been times in my life where it could be said that I rushed in too quickly. I'm sure many of us have had those experiences at one time or another and there's something almost magical about them isn't there? It's a special feeling we get when we get all giddy and excited about someone and start to fall. My observation though is that there is always a decline or type of awakening. A time soon after where we slip back into reality and realize that the different things we really were excited about in that person, lose their luster or are joined by other traits that aren't as wonderful. Sometimes it's because we rushed in too quickly and have put our physical actions and affections beyond where that relationship really stands, and something feels a little off. It could just be the wrong person. Or, we realize that there are some things that are much more important we need to pay attention to and ways in which we really need to get to know the individual better and strengthen the relationship. I've read an article recently that talked about this and have been already, the last three months, thinking about timing and patience in relationships on my own. I've been mainly getting to know one really great girl and things are going well but again there's the whole timing issue that keeps popping up. So why is it so hard to figure out relationships? The timing and when you're a "couple" and when you're not but are just "seeing each-other" or "courting"? It can be complicated and tricky but if we take the right steps in the beginning we can save ourselves a lot of heartache and wasted time.
For me I think that there has been a big push in our generation to rush into knowing and finding out if a certain person is the right person. That's good and great and all but one big reason the divorce rate is dramatically risen the last 15 years is because of our inability to be patient. Among many things we as a culture and generation need to work on is how we go about dating. The expectations and presumptions we have; and the rushing to get to know someone. Seems that we try to find all the ways that person is who we want them to be and how much like us they are so we can feel safe in letting our guard down. Well guys... that's not right. That's not how you grow to love and appreciate; adore and admire someone. Trying to find all the reasons why we can accept this person and fall for them is not getting to know who they really are! That is only falling in love with the reflection of ourselves in them... not taking the time to see who the other person is in different situations and what their interests and likes really are. So often we end up simply talking about who we are and want to be- without actually investing the time to see it for ourselves and learn who this person really is. We have to stop loving people for how much of ourselves we see within them, and learn what real charity and Christ-like love is.
This is such a big struggle for us because we have these ideals that are put upon us from our youth. We think love is this fairytale that is supposed to happen a certain way and at a certain place or time in our lives. When really... the possibilities are endless and no one knows the plan but God. In rushing, in pushing, in staying up late every night talking to someone or spending every day with them it doesn't mean we have the instant ability to see who they really are. It doesn't mean that we have the right to ask them all the personal questions and dig into what we think will depict how happy we can be with them. What really makes the biggest difference is taking the time to let them show you who they are. And if you are patient and compassionate and loving you will see who that person really is in time. We want too much to rush God's timing and find out now- those things that are best allotted with time.
Letting time and the relationship naturally flow and progress takes trust in God and patience. It takes faith and security in who you are and what you have to offer. What love really is and what we think it's supposed to be growing up are two quite different things. Allow Heavenly Father the chance to show you what's best and have faith in His timing. Lets stop putting our time tables on our relationships and our lives in general and focus on really letting life happen. When we were kids it seemed so much easier because it was more simple, but also because we just let things happen. We didn't rush as much as we do now and didn't try to control what happens in our lives and dating. It was more simple and real and we should keep it that way. Let things happen in their own natural timing and try not to rush in and figure it all out before you've really given it an adequate amount of time. Trust that what's supposed to happen will happen in the right timing and meekly seek the Lord's guidance in pursuing healthy relationships.
