very random thoughts..

I love firsts.. love the feeling of trying something out for the first time and many times- sharing that with someone else. It's a lot of fun that way- sharing firsts with good friends or someone you're interested in. I find sometimes that's a motivating factor for me. I like seeing how people react to something for the first time. I like taking dates to do something or see something they haven't before... I think sometimes tho there's an obligation we have to be warry of it as an item or thing. You don't wanna get too carried away experiencing all these new fun things and not have much that's new or exciting to do with the one you end up with. Then again... whomever that is you'd think you would be able to enjoy lots of things together many times over. I think most people enjoy simple things. Maybe gonig on a walk in the same place multiple times a week or shopping at the same store. I guess with the right person even the most simple or seemingly mundane things are enjoyable. And we all know we each want that and want to keep it once we've found it for a long long time.
I find myself wondering about that sometimes. How do you really know. I mean people say you'll just know... but do you really? or is it after you really take the big steps that you come to find out and that over time you really grow to be inseperable. Time can do that. Also, time can oppose those types of progress. I realized recently that time is a hinderance when we aren't honest with ourselves and especially with those we're supposed to care about the most. We build up resentment and feelings of ingratitude- even for those whom only want us to be happy. That in it's most pure true self is hard to find but when we really want the best for someone and they know that I really don't think they'll have to think wether to or not to come to us and say what's on their mind. It's natural, and those who can listen and understand are given more listening opportunities.
I thought I was a good listener. I'm not so sure tho, and I don't think I'm as humble as I hoped I would be. It's interesting to see tho... often when things in a relationship aren't going that well. It seems that when there's an offence taken- it's the one that is getting called out. I mean it's upsetting to have to think of excuses as to why you don't act like you should. and even tho others shouldn't jump to conclusions we get upset that they do. and sad thing is I bet most of the time they're right.
You know I've gotten mad at people many times over the years. sometimes it's just because I think people don't think and they need to grow up, and every now and then a person's just rude and doesn't respect others. I noticed recently tho that when I get upset with someone or a situation... I fell like I now better, how could they be so thoughtless, or stupid or rude or selfish... and the thing that happens every time- every time. I feel supirior in a way. I feel like they are dumb and i'm better. I see where the term "harden" their hearts comes from. I have felt that and done that often when I choose to be offended with something or at someone. And the thing that happens is I restrict myself and slow my spiritual progres.

In the October General Conference there were a lot of really good talks but one I and many others really felt was powerful and moving was that of Elder Jeffery R Holland. He os one of my favorite speakers and I love how he speaks to us with so much compassion and love. I love the part in between where these two clips where he speaks of the Prophet Joseph Smith and his devotiona nd total commitment to the Book Of Mormon. He sealed up his testimony with his life and in elder Hollands' own words... no evil person could write it and no honest man would write it, unless it were true. If these links don't work I'll try to fix them or just copy the addresses in the youtube search browser. This is one of my all time favorite talks!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMWK20vZFwQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_ac3tWeV3I&feature=related